The Most Inspiring Story of Overcoming Chronic Illness: From Stuffed Animal to Business Idea

 

              In 2021, I had gotten covid. Now, if you also have a chronic illness, you know as well as I do that it doesn't affect us the same way as someone without one. I was no exception.

 In 2 weeks, I was incontinent, running 104 F fevers despite medication, and coughing fits so violent I couldn't breathe. By the time I had gotten to the hospital, the covid pneumonia had spread to two-thirds of my lungs, and my kidneys, already compromised by my Chronic Illness, were shutting down. In the hospital, I called my boyfriend, Mike, to let him know to give my parents and his parents the call.

 "I did! They know your sick." He said

 "No, THE call. The 'this isn't looking good, alert the family.' call." I said

This was during the time when no one could go to visit you because covid was still spreading like wildfire. 

So, I was alone. My kidney's shutting down, hacking until I peed myself, and gasping for air through an oxygen tank. This was the first time, in a very long time, I thought of my old stuffed animal "Green Bear". I just wanted a companion. Something that reminded me of home. Something that was comforting. That's why I loved stuffed animals when I was younger. I wished there was something there that had any essence of that. Sadly, the combination of white walls and the stale beeping from my machines, combined with lagging video calls with Mike, were what kept me company during that time.

 (Mike was definitely my rock during this time, and I'm grateful he was there to keep picking me up. I honestly don't know where I would be if he hadn't been there the way he was)

Eventually, I was stabilized with enough steroid medication to go home. But home was not much more comfortable. I had to get belly injections for the following 2 weeks, twice a day to avoid blood clots. Along with that, the steroid I was given prevented me from sleeping for days, and caused constant cold sweats, violent body shakes, and made sitting on anything or even light touch, feel like needle stabs.

Now, as time went on, I continued to improve. But my kidneys took the brunt hit. Since then, they've never recovered. My nephrologist at the time compared it to me being involve in a fatal car accident. Once the covid was gone, and the dust settled, I realized my life was never going to be the same. I no longer could keep up with the job I had, so I had to quit. The residual effect a very high fevers is hair loss, so my hair started to fall out in big heaps. I also continued to have trouble breathing and keeping up with normal activities. However, because it couldn't be captured in a test done by the lab, I couldn't be approved for disability, and well "Everything came back normal, so that's good!" My world was burned to the ground,

but I was the only one who could see it.

I fell into a deep depression. I didn't want to do anything, and when I did, I physically couldn't handle it. I was so discouraged and so broken. This is when I developed a hyper fixation on the Cartoon Network show "Adventure Time". I wanted to go on an adventure. I want to help people, like Finn did. I wanted to feel normal like Finn. I wanted to feel joy again. 

In the midst of this, my significant other, Mike, was pushing me to get back to my roots, art. Before this, I was painting on canvas with acrylic paint, so I tried that. Sadly, when I finally painted something, my energy was completely drained and the fatigue and body aches set it. "Ugh, this body is useless, I can't even do a hobby without feeling like I'm going to collapse. Pathetic" My downward spiral set in as Mike walked in excited to see what I had made, but by then, I was mentally checked out of painting. What art form could I do, sitting on a couch, that I could pretty easily clean up and put down at the drop of a hat? 

At the time, there was a trend on social media of people using this stuff called Polymer Clay. People would use it to make desk weights, characters, jewelry, even keyboard covers! It didn't need water or a kiln. It never dried out. AND it just took a regular oven to harden.

 Why not... eye roll 

I started with my favorite characters from Adventure Time. Carving out Jakes Jowls or Marceline's long black hair. [I even did Chips and Ice cream! (Look them up, real character) Even though I still was taking frequent breaks due to these new side effects, I started looking forward to clay making opportunities. It wasn't long before Mike started asking "Hey, you should upload those on YouTube!" I uploaded a couple videos and got some really amazing and kind responses. It was a small, genuinely lovely crowd. 

I started running out of cartoon characters to make. I thought, what if I could make my own line of cute characters? They could be simple, cute and funny looking. So, I made cute little fruits and vegetables with derpy faces and big butts. They brought back the joy I had been struggling to find. Each face I made, or color I mixed slowly began to bring my spark back. I struggled every day to get out of bed, to stand to make a meal, but these little guys helped me continue to make a little routine for myself.

After working on these characters and posting content for a while, I was losing steam. I had pushed my body as far as it could go. There was no way I could make these. My body couldn't keep up. "Ugh not again"

This was where the "Darkest before the Dawn" moment comes in.

I had mustered up the strength one day to organize our family room, and one of the items I picked up was a jumbo sized, plushy, soft, bright green dino. 

I looked at this toy, frustrated. As if he was the reason my dumb body didn't work right anymore. The crinkle of tension in my forehead eased and my mood shifted to defeat. I thought about my childhood "Green Bear" (My Green Beanie Buddy with the Blue bow). I miss him so much, if only those were still around. If only he was still around.

I stood there, just staring at this fluffy green reptile.

....

"What if, I just hugged him?"

My brain cringed a little. "Really? I think you're a bit too old for that" I thought. 

The truth is, in that moment, I just wanted a hug.

I NEEDED that hug.

So, I brought this green dino to my heart, wrapped my arms around him, and squeezed tight. 

exhale 

There it was.

 The deep ache of emotional, mental turmoil was taken out of my body. For a moment, I flew back in time to when I was little. Where Green Bear wasn't just a toy, he was my best friend.

He was never a decoration; he was my therapist. He sat with me, night after night, soaking up my snot when I was sick, listening to me on a bad day, and supported me when I felt like I had nothing, and no one. When I cried, he was there. 

sniffle

I snapped back to the present with tears in my eyes. At that moment, I realized how important stuffed animals are.

 "How could I have forgotten this?"

 I couldn't help but think "Do other people know about this? Or do people just grow up and forget like I did?" 

Then I started going deeper.

"How many people feel like because they're older, they shouldn't have a stuffed animal? How many teens or adults could benefit from an intentional fluffy friend, that isn't just a cute item, but a friend? How many people, who are bed bound and stuck in rooms/beds most of the time could be helped by a stuffed companion?" 

I could make that happen! I could create a line of Premium Plush Toys, with Names, and personalities! That connect with people through their own story!

They are made to be your companion, no matter what!

That, my friends, is where the idea of "Sprouts" came from, and where AM Toys Company was born.

My very own clay characters I sculpted were the inspiration behind these gorgeous characters. ( I ended up changing the style a bit on the REAR end.....get it hehe) 

My promise is to bring a sense of comfort with every Sprout you meet.

To create a sense of wonder.

A sense of companionship and comfort that may have been lost within you.

The sense I had lost for so long, Joy. 

I hope you enjoy what I have put together for you all. I'm working with some incredible people to bring something I hope with change your life for the better, and if not else, remind you of the joy that you deserve.

Thank you for giving me this unbelievable opportunity to create something truly special. I am so incredibly grateful for each and every one of you!

- Allison J Murphy

Founder